


Ten Alternate Universes: Kermit and Miss Piggy

by DaibhidC



Category: Bucky O'Hare and the Toad Wars (Cartoon), The Muppets - All Media Types, Toon (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Western, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2019-01-17 19:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaibhidC/pseuds/DaibhidC
Summary: The challenge: "Give me a character/pairing and I will write snippets of ten different alternate universes for it."The universes: Wild West, Cyberpunk, Shapeshifters, Pirates, ...In SPACE!!, Born Another Gender, Schoolfic, Police/Firefighters, Urban Fantasy, Steampunk.The characters: Kermit and Piggy.





	Ten Alternate Universes: Kermit and Miss Piggy

**Wild West**

“Evenin’, Miss Piggy,” Sheriff Kermit said, as he and Deputy Fozzie passed the saloon.

“ _Bonsoir, ma shérif_ ,” the saloon owner replied.

 “I don’t know why,” Kermit commented to the deputy, “But I keep thinking it would make more sense if she were a cat.”

 

**Cyberpunk**

Mz Piggy didn’t usually deal directly with clients, but with Kermit still plugged into his cyberdeck, it looked like she was doing the talking. “So, how can _moi_ help you?” she asked.

“The word is that this guy is Frogface1, one of the best netroamers in Blight City.”

Piggy scoffed, “One of the best? Try _the_ best! Kermie has a vision of a world where everyone’s laughing and happy, and he has the skills to hack into every megacorp in this miserable town to make it happen!”

“That’s what we thought. Sam Eagle, Serious Police. I’m shutting this frog down.”

 _Oops!_ “If you know so much about Kermie, presumably you’ve also heard about his bodyguard? Concealed armourskin, impact gloves, brainchipped with karate skills to black belt level?”

“Well, yes. But I don’t see him around just now, do you?”

“Apparently, you haven’t heard _everything_ about this bodyguard…”

 

**Shapeshifters**

Princess Piggy stretched up and kissed the handsome prince who had won her heart. There was a puff of smoke, and he vanished. In his place was a frog.

“Okay,” he said, “I should probably explain. There was this evil witch, you see…”

 

**Pirates**

Well, that’s just _Muppet Treasure Island._

 

**…In SPACE!!**

Well, that’s just _Pigs_... oh, all right...

Once Miss Piggy had realised the crew of the _Righteous Indignation_ were holding her Kermie prisoner, she had become somewhat upset. Kermit left the brig and carefully stepped over the unconscious figure of a four-armed duck.

“You don’t think it would have been simpler to explain to Captain O’Hare that I’m not actually a toad?” he asked.

“You tried that and he didn’t listen,” Piggy reminded him, “Trust me, this was more effective.”

 

**Born Another Gender**

“Hey, boss lady, we’ve got a problem,” said Scooter.

Kermia, the harried producer of _Up Late with Mr Pig!_ sighed. “Don’t we always?” she asked, “What is it now?”

“You remember we booked Arnold Schwarzenegger? Well, you know how Mr Pig needs to be the most macho guy in the room…”

“Oh, no.”

“Yeah, the gym just called. Apparently he’s sprained something. They’ve called an ambulance.”

“Sheesh. Okay, you start working out if we can get a live feed from the hospital or something, I’ll phone Denise and tell her I’m missing our date. Again.”

 

**Schoolfic**

“Oh, Kermie?”

Kermit turned from his locker at the sound of his sort-of-girlfriend’s voice. “Hi-ho, Piggy. Did you want something?”

“Well, I’m arranging a _little_ protest demonstration at the football game tomorrow, and since you’re _so_ good at organising things, I wondered if you’d like to help?”

Kermit looked puzzled. He knew Henson High was playing Sesame School the following day, but he hadn’t heard about a demonstration. And that sort of activism didn’t really seem like Piggy’s thing. “Why are you demoing the football game?”

Her voice hardened. “It’s called a pigskin. _You_ figure it out.”

“Uh, right. Well, in that case I’d be glad to. Especially if you help me with something similar in the biology lab…”

 

**Police/Firefighters**

When the fire engine returned to the station, Piggy was the first one to climb out. She had been closest to the blaze, and she looked it.

If you will excuse _moi_ ,” she told Station Manager the Frog, “I need a shower.”

“Uh, check,” Kermit looked into the engine and realised the rest of the crew were unconscious. “So what happened to them?”

“They looked like they were about to say something starting with the words ‘smoked’ or ‘smoky’. I explained that that would be a bad idea.”

 

**Urban Fantasy**

Piggy and Kermit, Investigators of the Strange, arrived at the address they’d been given to find a shaken-looking man waiting outside.

“I’ve never believed in spirits or anything like that,” he told them, “but I was hearing a strange noise coming from the hall cupboard. I looked and there was a crack in the wall. It led to a vast cavern that couldn’t possibly have been there, like it was a portal to another dimension or something. And there were all these strange creatures, singing to unearthly music that seemed to be generated out of nowhere!” He shuddered.

The two investigators exchanged glances.

“That just sounds like Fraggles,” said Piggy, “Let us know if something _weird_ happens.”

 

**Steampunk**

“Good evening, and welcome to the Muppet Music Hall! And I welcome both our audience here and those viewing tonight’s entertainment through the zoetropic transmissions provided by Lord Louis Grade and his Associated Televisual Company…”

As the amphibian impresario ran through his spiel, there was a crisis backstage. Mlle Piggy, the Porcine Passerine, had noticed that she appeared on the playbill _after_ “The Death-Defying Great Gonzo and his Velocipede of Death”. Her pianist took a more philosophical view.

“You’re still above ‘The Comic Observations of Mr Fozworth Bear’,” he pointed out.

She gave him a look. “Well, who wouldn’t be?”

**Author's Note:**

> Blight City and the Serious Police are from the _Toonpunk 2020½_ setting in _The Tooniversal Tour Guide_


End file.
